Poetry Competition

Some Creative Writing Club members

 

St Swithun's Creative Writing Club held a poetry competition based on fairytales before Christmas. 

L4-L5 participants were asked to create fairytales with 'an unexpected twist'. 

M5 and above had a theme of 'Remembrance'.

There were many excellent entries. The winning poems can be read below.

 

Repulsive Rapunzel by Madeleine Alexander L4

One long and windy, stormy night

The queen sat up and screamed in fright

“My stomach,” she cried, “I saw it move!”

The king cried back, “We’ll get it removed!

 

I’ll call for the medic and get it cauterised

He’ll put a stop to this nasty surprise!”

The medic rushed in and said in a hurry

“My Royal Highness there’s no need to worry

 

That thing you saw move, don’t let it scare

That thing inside will be the throne’s heir!”

So that long and windy, stormy night

That gave the queen a terrible fright

 

Delivered to her a beautiful child

Whose golden hair was curled most wild

That grew and grew and would not stop

Even when they’d cut the lot!

 

And though most parents would be happy

These parents thought the child looked sappy

So the very next morning without a hint of delay

They packaged the child and sold her on eBay

 

To an elderly woman who drank lots of tea

For the most princely sum of three pounds and 5p

But the cruel and mean parents could not tell

That their precious daughter they’d decided to sell

 

So they plotted and planned and made up a story

Filled with lies and details of blood and gory

Of a burglar who climbed through the window at night

Who then took the baby and put up a fight

 

And knocked out guards, then speared the cook

Before shoving some jewels into a bag that he took

The king and queen banished the child and old lady

To a far distant land a little less than shady

 

To the tallest tower in the middle of woods

And filled the place with a hoard of goods

To help ease their feelings of incredible guilt

And keep them locked inside the tower they’d had built.

 

Now the little old lady was incredibly kind

And toiled away never sitting on her behind

But little Rapunzel turned into a brat

And all she did was sit then sat

 

Upon her bottom, day after day

Pouting and moaning, for that was her way,

Until the old woman could take it no more

And returned to the castle to delicately implore

 

For the king and queen to repent and take back

Their only daughter turfed out in a sack.

But the king and queen declined her kind offer

And told the old woman they preferred Rapunzel’s “bruvver”

 

So the old woman returned to the child who sulked

And moodily whined and screamed and skulked

And brushed her tresses ten times per day

That had grown a mile long and was the colour of hay

 

One day the little old lady went to Rapunzel and said

I’ve tried to raise you to be kind but you are rather mean instead!”

Rapunzel looked up in rage and screamed “I hate you, you…old hag

Now do me a favour and pack your bag,

 

And trot off back to beneath your rock!”

The old lady shook with shock

As she packed her things in an old tin can,

An embroidered handkerchief and battered fan

 

But at the top of the spiral stair

She tripped on a strand of Rapunzel`s hair

And fell with a bump and a thump and a crack

Down to the bottom where she broke her back

 

Rapunzel laughed and left the body

To decompose in the dowdy downstairs lobby

But now what to do? Rapunzel thought sadly

Noting that she perhaps had behaved quite badly

 

Now who would get all her lovely delights,

And spend all their money on delicious bites?

She was pondering this when she heard a loud smash

A stone came through the window, with a terrible crash

 

She scowled and went to the window at once

To see who could be that great ugly dunce

There was no Tesco delivery, no cart full of gowns

No piles of shoes or feather eiderdowns

 

Instead a rich prince clothed in very fine silk

With a colossal nose, bald head and skin like milk

As Rapunzel leant out, her hair looking lush

The prince turned red and started to blush

 

“Get lost you loser, yes you, Princie-boy

Why have you come here to plague and annoy?!

The prince was quite stunned at this beautiful girl

Thoughts went out of his head in a pretty pink whirl

 

He shouted “My lady, my love, I have one wish

Would come down here and give me a kiss?”

“Well that’s a bit forward, don’t you think little boy?

You are treating me as if I were some little toy.”

 

“My name is Prince Caspian, please tell me yours?”

She replied yawning, “I don`t disclose my name to bores!”

Yet he persisted and begged for a week and a day

And Rapunzel feared that he would waste away

 

“My name is Rapunzel, if you have to know

Now get back on your donkey, it’s time to go!”

“Rapunzel, Rapunzel a maiden so fair?

Rapunzel, Rapunzel please let down your hair!”

 

“Now why would I do that you great ugly brute?

I don’t let my hair down for someone who’s not cute?”

But suddenly a plan hatched inside her ghastly head

She decided to encourage him to stay instead

 

She would ask for this ugly guys’ hand in marriage

Then murder him inside the wedding carriage!

She’d take his money and all his wealth

No one would know, it would be by stealth

 

She’d blame it on the gormless hack

Who was supposed to be guarding at the back

And she would wipe away her crocodile tears

And mourn the loss for years and years

 

Until another suitor turned her eye

A handsome chap, a worldly guy

So when the Prince called again

“Please throw down your golden mane?”

 

She tumbled it over the parapet

For him to take a closer look

Then in a trice, he took a knife

And hacked off her hair in one clean slice!

 

He’d envied these golden locks

That fell around his silken socks

He`d wanted these endless tresses

To complement his gowns and dresses

 

And make the most divine hair wig

That would make his self-confidence big

By covering his shiny, bald head

That resembled a large ostrich egg

 

But just as he leapt with great delight

The hair kept falling and with all its might

Threw him to the leafy ground

And tangled him such that he was found

 

Beneath a ton of golden hair twas said

The poor prince was not breathing, he was dead!

Rapunzel was delighted with the Prince`s fate

And more delighted in the loss of weight

 

Her crowning glory had caused such pain

That had caused her mind to go insane

Hence her wretched horrid temper

That now her haircut had dismembered

 

Then spotting a crumpled yellow note

She read the words the old lady had wrote

Telling Rapunzel of the king and queen

That she had never really seen

 

She scooted down the water pipe

Amidst the dreadful “dead Prince” hype

With crowds gathering everywhere

To see the “Prince and all that hair!”

 

She rode his donkey towards the west

To find her parents, who were the best

Who gathered round her and hugged and kissed

Telling her how much she`d been sorely missed!

 

Remembrance

1st place (joint) – Remembrance by Georgia Onslow U5

 

He sits;
A figure draped in blankets, hunched over a rusty wheelchair.
No cry escapes his bitten lips, nor tear wanders from his eye,
But he remembers.
Swaying, teetering, he stands up,
The wind buffeting his frail body.
And, with a half-forgotten smile,
He salutes.

 

1st place (joint) – Remembrance by Beatrice Tridimus U6

 

Did you hear the silence approach;
Threaten us to be still as we surrendered
To its silent almightiness encroach upon our homes?
We could smell our cowardice as it wafted,
Bitter sweet and burned out nostrils raw.
We would have touched our hurt and rubbed it in,
Had the pain not been so relievedly numbing.
Should you not have tasted the disappointment
Of the air, as there was no being left to breathe it in?
Haven’t we seen the loneliness of empty spaces,
That not even dust can occupy on blank spaces?
And we feel the hunger of our hearts as they’re ripped
From us and brought, despairingly, to our feet,
Thrown upon twisted veins and swallowed by thorned vines
Of pettily idle memories in our minds.

I couldn’t see, for all I saw was the flash of light from a camera
That had once taken a picture of me, many years ago,
A near memory that had burned itself to my retinas,
Just as a sign of life. Any life –
But that was all lost before, before we thundered and we stormed,
Before the familiar nothing that only meant what it had lost –
Does the kite really reach its height before it falls?
And when all I see from then, to finally dill the earth and stamp
Its allegiance to emptiness and waste
And misunderstanding, or just never really knowing,
Never really going on our own. Lives wasted, lives baited.
We dare harbour hope whilst they harboured truth,
Letting us go, one by one, hand by hand, men by man,
To the wind.

 

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